Answered Prayer

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions. Sorry I haven't written sooner, but it's been crazy!

Tuesday, my mom was bonded out of jail. It was a crazy event in and of itself. The last time I saw her in jail was on the 7th. We were there for 30 minutes and she wasn't responding at all. She maybe talked for 2 minutes total and had a number of anxiety attacks while I was there. She said she had no hope and that she would never see the light of day again. It was heartbreaking - probably the hardest it's been since this all happened.

So that was Sunday afternoon. Monday, my dad talked with the attorney and they decided it was time to try and get my mom out. We started the paperwork on Tuesday and were told that it was going to take at least 6 - 8 hours to get the paperwork started and it looked like she would be ready by 9am on Wednesday. At 6:30 p.m. that night, my friend Ryan and I were driving to Orland to do a little shopping and I got a phone call. It was my mom asking who posted her bond and was anyone there to pick her up. I was in shock. No one called like they said and it was only 3 hours after we started the paperwork. I immediately called my dad and he was on his way. They ended up kicking her out because they said they were closing. So there was my mom - wandering around downtown Joliet in her jail garb with her plastic bag full of a Bible and all the sweet cards people sent her. When Jarrett, my dad, & Dean got there they found her walking with a strange man. She said he was bringing her to his car so she could use his phone. That's when they found her. Thank you Lord.

I had so many emotions running through my head. I was SO grateful, excited, and nervous all at the same time. I thought I had 12 more hours to prepare for everything, but God's timing is perfect. She was home and so grateful. Still a bit numb - you could tell she was not herself, but rightly so. Once we got her showered and settled, she wanted a BBQ Chicken Pizza from Chicago Dough Company, a Hansen's Root Beer, & a Venti Soy Chai Tea Latte.

We had dinner as a family. Eden couldn't have been happier to see my mom. She was attached from the moment she first saw her again. It almost brought me to tears because I felt it was the Lord's way of saying, "Gaye, I love you more than this."

The following day we took her to a rehab clinic where she is now. The first night was really hard. She had a lot of anxiety. My dad ended up staying with her until 10:30p.m. when she fell asleep.

The first 2 1/2 days were really hard on her. She was not wanting to participate and was making mention of wanting her life to be over. She was/ is having a hard time with hope. forgiveness and the Lord's unending, unswerving love.

We feel there are A TON of attacks/oppression from the enemy on her thoughts and mind. Please pray for protection over her mind and that she would just claim the name and blood of Jesus over herself. I ask that you pray that for her as well.

The last 2 days we have seen a small improvement. Thank you Lord. She has been working a bit more with her therapist. And that's all that it is going to take - A small step each day.

We have been able to see her every day since she's been there. My dad has been so loyal and loving towards my mom.

Tomorrow is Monday - the new work week. Please be praying that my mom will make some good improvements this week, but most of all pray that she would find her strength in Jesus.

I'm sorry if this is all over the place. I'm sure there are some things/ details I have left out. If you think of anything and want to ask, feel free.

I hope you find comfort like I have in the lyrics of a song by Brooke Frasier.

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness, or trial, or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conquerer and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship


I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here


This is my prayer in the harvest
Where favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

I cannot say it enough how much I appreciate all the prayers, love, & support everyone has shown. If I could give each one of you a hug, I would!

Clinging to the Cross,

Erin

A Bump In The Road

My 3 year old babe!

As some of you know our life has taken an unexpected turn... please bear with me as I try to pen some of my thoughts/ journey. Let this be my journal...

Monday, February 15, 2010... I hadn't heard from my mom all day. I had called lots - both her cell and my grams house... I called around 1:00 seeing if she wanted to run to Target with me... the kids were napping and Jarrett was home so I thought we could have some mother - daughter time. I was just going to drive by my grandma's to get her, but since she didn't answer, I figured they had gone out somewhere. Thank you Lord for causing me to keep on driving.

I continued to call because she was supposed to be over first thing in the morning to stay with the kids for the day and overnight. Jarrett and I had an overnight trip planned for sometime now. We were going to the city for some Switchfoot and a night in the city. The Lord had other plans.

By 8:30p.m. still no answer. Dean was home from school for some odd reason that night and I said, "I haven't heard from mom all day and I think something's wrong. Can you ride with me to grandma's?" We got in the car and went over. For some of you who don't know, my grandma broke her femur in September. She had a 1 month stay in the hospital and she was out. She almost passed twice while in there, but the Lord had other plans.

When it was time to leave my mom decided to move in with my grams. Grams was one who was set in her ways so moving in with my mom wasn't an option! My mom packed some things and gladly moved in with her mom. She was an only child so she carried the full responsibility.

When we arrived at my grams, her parking lot was blocked off with yellow crime scene tape and I saw in the distance my grandma's garage door open... WHAT??? I was instantly sick. Dean asked me what was going on.... I asked an officer, what's going on and he told me there was a homicide. I told him that is my grandma's house and my mom lived there. He waved us through.

We were met by a detective. I kept asking was it a double homicide? Did someone break in overnight? Finally he decided to tell me my grandma was killed. Where's my mom? Is she okay? He told us it would be better if we could go down to the station.

There in the small town I grew up in I found out information I thought was impossible. Was I dreaming? Is this real? Why hadn't anyone called us at 2:30p.m. when they found all this out? Why had the media known before us?

Weird, but almost instantaneously I knew the Lord was in control. Maybe that sounds a bit ridiculous, but I did.

Two anti-depressants, one anxiety medication, and one sleep aid - namely Ambien... lack of sleep, stress, and a combination of sin and the enemy... enough to do someone in - that being my mom... someone who I love more than words.

That night only 3 hours of sleep took place on my part. As I tossed and turned, I thought, "Lord if this is how it's going to be, I don't know how I'm going to handle this..." And as I awoke that morning John 8:32 was in my head ..."and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” In that moment I felt the Lord saying to me, by turning herself in, the first step was taken in being "set free." Things could have ended up a lot different, but they didn't. And in those dark moments, the Lord did not leave my mom. He was there and He still is there.

Two days later my sweet princess turned 3. I will never forget her 3rd birthday. Amber and Vernon drove up for less than 1 day just to love us. Thank you sweet friends. And in between those 2 days we planned my grams funeral. Things I never dreamed to be doing. But praise be to God that we were able to get things set so we could take a day and spend it as a family...

Jules was on a flight less than 24 hours later keeping life at home somewhat normal for the kids. Jules, I love you more than I know how to express. Life would be so different without you. Eden was starting to not enjoy all the "meetings" mommy had to go to, but the kids were resilient.

We had a beautiful 2 days remembering the life of my grandma. Over 400 people came to show their love and support for her, my mom, and our family. THANK YOU ALL. I was so overwhelmed by all your love and support. Friends drove in from near and far. One pregnant with a 2 year old who is full of life. Eight hours in 1 day... that is LOVE. Friendship is one of God's greatest gifts. Friends who I haven't seen in over 10 years showed up to give a hug and lend a shoulder to cry on... and through all of this, I had my amazing husband standing by my side strong and sure... unmovable. Unshakable love... overwhelmed by the love of Jesus.

Crazy how the Lord orchestrated all of this before the beginning of time... we buried my grams, had a luncheon provided by an amazing body of believers, and I was 2 hours from seeing my mom for the first time. Nerves... wow... Love...LOve..LOVe...LOVE.... that's all that was going through my head.

A court order went through hours earlier for me to have a contact visit with my mom. I was able to hold her hands, hug her, and look in her eyes and tell her that I/we love her more than ever. People near and far love her and are praying for her and supporting her. She was grateful.

One week went by and Dean and I were able to have another contact visit with her. She was so grateful to see her kids again. She looked better. She missed us and was longing for a Root Beer.

Three days went by and I had my first video conference with her. She was having a hard day. She was visibly sad. They moved her at midnight from the medical side to general population. I think things were setting in. It was awful seeing my mom so sad. My heart was breaking for her, yet I trust this is where the Lord has her.

I immediately called my dad and he set up a video conference for the following day. He saw her Wednesday. She was able to feel his love and support. Thank you Jesus.

This has brought our family closer together than ever and through it all I have fallen deeper in love with Jesus. He is GREATER. He will NEVER fail, and He works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Rom. 8:28). Friends, He is so much BIGGER. He THRIVES in situations like these. His glory shines all around, brighter than ever before. May people see it and grab a hold of it for the first time. May Jesus be my mom's everything. And may Jesus meet her right where she is.

Please pray for my mom.

Pray for wisdom.

Pray that God would be honored and glorified through it all.

This song has been my hearts song through this all. The lyrics echo the song in my heart - Alleluia, Sing by David Crowder Band

Like calm comes to a sea
Like snowfall quietly
You come to me
Like justice to the weak
Like a flood rising
You come, You come to me

And it feels like it's almost here

Alleluia majesty
Alleluia risen king
Alleluia angels sing
Like springtime to winter's hush
Like laughter to solemnness
Like a sun rising up
You come, You come to us

Alleluia majesty
Alleluia king of kings
Alleluia angels sing
Like a song rising up
In your heart filling up
Like a heart's not enough
For this love, for this love

To sing of love, to sing of love
To sing of love, love, love
Alleluia majesty
Alleluia king of kings
Alleluia angels sing

Alleluia sing!

Thanks for listening.

I honestly love each and every one of you. I pray that I can blog often and share what the Lord is doing and just to get some thoughts out!

In Him and For Him,

Erin